Knowing what to talk about in the early stages of dating can be challenging. The anxiety that one might feel about awkward silences can cause lapses into styles of communication that can make the date go in the wrong direction. The “interviewing for a spouse mode” or the “information dump” are common communication patterns that can derail a potentially successful date.
Asking questions is an aspect of normal conversation when you are trying to get to know someone. However, certain questions are more appropriate than others and too many questions feels like an interview rather than a comfortable social exchange. Asking questions that encourage the sharing of information that is too personal is a big mistake. It can result in the person shutting down, getting defensive or sharing more than appropriate.
The person who feels pressured by excessive questioning and as a result discloses too much information too soon, will feel vulnerable and embarrassed.The person receiving the information can potentially be confused or overwhelmed about how to respond. If one minute ago your date was technically a stranger, and now you know that they grew up being abused or are a member of a different political party than you are, the attraction or connection that was beginning to form can be destroyed.
In place of telling your whole life story, it’s safer to talk about interests, work, the activity of the date you are on, school experiences, current events or surface family facts. Talking about past relationships, family problems, or sensitive medical information in the early stages of dating can change the atmosphere from fun and interesting to one that is too serious and potentially off-putting.
Read more specifics in “The Ten Foolish Dating Mistakes That Men and Women Make” or in the article “The Honesty Dilemma In Early Dating”, http://www.rebeccasperbermft.com.